I have been thinking for some time about something now, it is a question that I have been asked so many times. It has come in many forms, but it always goes back to how some choices I or others have or may make. It is how is this going to make me look or what am I going to tell others. I have found that this not some that I have asked, I mean if someone came to my house and parked their new car I have never asked them what will I tell my neighbors. Why is it that so many worry about what others think, well for my self it was because I was hiding who I was.

My wish is this, That others could see me and other for who we are not what we may be doing. How many times when someone tells you about someone they know they use things like they go to this church or they smoke, they use things that show what they do not that they care for others. Labels are words we put on people as a way of thinking that one may know them. IE Smoker, Fat, Skinny, Tall, Short. What if we looked at people in a way that we saw how much they love their Spouse or they make time for their family. would that change how we see them?

Over the past few years I started to see others for who they are and not the one or two things they do. I have come to see my father in-law in a whole new way. He loves all his kids in ways that I never saw because I only saw what he did. Also because I stopped hiding who I was, he may not like some of the things that I may do but I see in his eyes that he loves me when he gave me a hug this last weekend.

Love is not something that should be given because of what someone does, but because of who they are. I have seen that I understand how much I love a family member more when they may do something I wish they would not. It is at those time that I need to be in there life more then when they live as I may wish. It is my wish that may makes me think they are doing something wrong, they may not feel the same as I do. If any one is wrong in what they think or feel, I say it is me that is wrong to want someone to change for me. Why should I feel that I know better what they need?

I have found for my self that only I can change me, no one else can or will make me change. When I think others should change I try think about how I can change. No one has power over me unless I give it to them, It took me a long time to understand this.

As for what to tell someone about what I am doing, tell them I am trying to be a better person.