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This Month

Feb 18, 12:33 AM

This month so far has been so much more then I could have hoped for. I have stepped out of my safe place, I put my self out for the world to see. I am still here after doing this and wow the changes that I have seen in my self. I would have never believed I feel like I have the past 3 weeks. Then their is all the people I have met and got to know just a little bit. I know that the young people coming out of school are wanting to make the world a better place and I believe that they will.

I was asked If I wanted to and would I do a small part in a show at Westminster College. I feel I must say that I took many hours to think about if I should or could. My health is not what it was last year and does not look like it is going to get better. I have come to understand that is just the way it is and I am trying to make the best of it. So with that in mind I had to think what the cost to me would be, with the drive and the hours. But something inside of me said you need to do this, I try to listen to that voice when it comes, But in my mind I could not see how I would do it. So I said yes, that first meeting with the cast touched me, it touched my heart and My good friends heart. She to was asked to do a part, she said yes.

This cast came from many ages and back grounds, but came together for this show. I had wanted to do this show for a few years now but never felt that I would. I guess I did not feel I had the right to ask to be a part or that I was an outsider. Their are so many things in this life we must work for or try to become, but many times we do not get there or become because we stop or because others tell us we can not, that it is wrong and will do what they can to keep us from it.

That is something that changed for me in this show, I know I am the only one that can or will stop me any more. Yes people will try to stand in my way, but I can and will just go around them. I am happy and I believe in me, some may say that is wrong but I say why, how can that be. If I had believe in my self sooner maybe I could help others more. Next month will be 14 years that I have lived, after being told that I may have 6 months to a year to live because of Cancer.

The day I was told that I had Cancer I can remember all things I did not think I could do with my life ie ( seeing my kids grow up ) and much more. I am so thankful that I was given the gift of the last 14 years. I have at this time moved forward and done so many things like seeing my kids grow up and so much more. I am who I am in part because of my past, but more because of who i want to be. Having Cancer has shown me that if I wanted to do things it was up to me.

I guess that is part of what I saw in the women of this cast, that they can do what ever they set their minds to. They all worked hard at the parts they had in the show and moved forward. They give me hope. They took the whole person that is who I am and said that they cared. They saw more in me then I did at times. I am so blessed to have been around them. I guess that we us gave of ourselves not wanting any more then to do a great show. Wow they did give a great show, they moved me. It is not what you get in life it is what you can give!

Blaire Roper